Decay
by Xxreverie
Summary: {Pulling her attention back to the chilling window, she evenly replied, "I remember everything." Emotion no longer filled her lungs, only the internal feeling of decay was evidence of her pain. Moreover, evidence of her life.} Postwar. Even the people who you thought would never fall, are still capable of tumbling into the darkness. If then, who is left to save them?
1. Chapter 1

The illusion of youth no longer graced her feminine features. Various shades of dark pigments were freckled across her once flawless porcelain skin. Wrinkled depressions reflected wisdom and spirit that failed to translate through her bed ridden body. Yet, changed in appearance, Tsunade spoke with ageless pride and unwavering authority. Only fearlessness was mirrored in her fading amber eyes.

It had been two weeks since the end of the war. Devastation was everywhere, but the world was strong. Life would soon fall back into place. The souls of the brave that perished in battle will forever be remembered, just like the heroes from previous hardships. Time will pass and hearts will learn to cope. Unfortunately, some hearts may never heal.

Sakura's soft fingertips lightly pressed against the window. A stinging chill reverberated through her spine. The glass was cold, even when it had long been painted with the rays of the sun. Looking over the village, the image of life seemed to be slowly taking shape, and she desperately wanted it burned into her mind. Smiling faces, sounds of laughter, visions of vibrant colors, succulent smells, and feelings of joy were all luxuries she wished to never forget. However, bloodied ash, piercing screams and cries, lurking darkness, and the lasting metallic stench of rotting flesh were all that flashed behind her staring green eyes. Like everyone, she would need time to heal, but she silently wondered if it was even still possible. She was changed. The image of death had shattered her soul, and nothing seemed to sooth her aching heart. In fact, she felt as if she had died herself.

Murmurs of the peripheral conversion woke her from her daze. "…Sakura...Sakura."

She did not answer, but ever so slightly turned her neck to meet the tired eyes of her master.

Sensing her ignorance, Tsunade repeated, "I want you to remember what I told you." Her mentor's fluttering gaze further spread the turbulent fire currently held captive in Sakura's veins.

Pulling her attention back to the chilling window, she evenly replied, "I remember everything." Emotion no longer filled her lungs, only the internal feeling of decay was evidence of her pain. Moreover, evidence of her life.

* * *

**{Earlier that day}**

"Please Milady, sit back and rest some more." Shizune rushed to the stubborn woman's side.

"Shizune, stop that! I shall not be treated like a child!" Tsunade's stern voice echoed through the dark hall.

Because she refused to alarm the village with the news that she was ill, the Hokage tower now mirrored a sick patient's hospital room.

Rhythmic footsteps stopped just before an imminent knock at her office door. Without pause, the handle was twisted and the color of pink returned to her stationary chair by the window without a word. She had been a permanent visitor ever since the manifestation of her teacher's illness, only leaving when needed for a specific patient or completing various errands. And when she was indeed present, she talked very little. Of course, the Hokage had visitors come in and out throughout the day, but they were only summoned on her orders and thus sworn to secrecy as a result.

"Did you tell them to come at 6?" The older woman questioned.

A silent nod was conformation from her student.

"And I assume you told Kakashi 4 o'clock? Perhaps then he might be on time."

Another mimicked shake of the head assured the woman.

Feeling the heavy scrutinizing gaze on her profile, Sakura began to feel a tingling itch all over her body. Ants were marching in the hollows of her bones. Wanting to cough and claw out her lungs, she felt the walls of her throat beginning to close like a trap door. Almost jumping from her chair she breathlessly voiced a desperate excuse to be pardoned, "I forgot I— I promised to pick up an ingredient from the market for dinner—for my mother! I'll come back with the boys."

Not waiting for a response, nor making contact with the narrowed eyes following her form, Sakura was gone.

Tsunade sat still, hands folded in her lap while Shizune was replacing her saline drip. There was an exchange of understanding in the stretched silence between the two. It was Shizune who spoke first.

"I think she will be okay…she is strong, she's like you."

Releasing a deep breathe, Tsunade closed her eyes. "And that is why I'm worried." Feeling Shizune's questioning pause, she continued. "She is going to lose a lot of people in her life, whether it be loved ones or patients she is responsible for, she will be thoroughly acquainted with death. And as a result, that will cause her to further reject relationships. She will grow to become hardened, angry, and dehumanized. She will thus live only in an act of duty and resent most mornings she wakes up alive while the ones she loves are dead."

Shizune felt her bruised heart throb at the depiction of how her beloved master knowingly alluded to herself. Thoughts flashed to her uncle, Dan, and how much Tsunade loved and admired him. He seemed to heal her heart that was broken in consequence of her younger brother's passing. She learned to smile again, and was able to refocus her goals. But when he too passed, finally so did her heart.

"There was a point in my life…Shizune, when I almost truly lost myself. I must thank you for all that you have done for me. You have stayed by my side during my darkest times and have never left me. For your love, I thank you—." She was silenced by the trembling weight of Shizune's sobbing embrace.

Warm tears dampened her shoulder as Tsunade returned her companion's love. Lightly rubbing her back in an attempt to comfort, a gentle smile spread across her dry lips. "Now, now, Shizune…You are strong as well."

The crying woman's grip tightened and an irrepressible yelp of agony escaped her tortured soul, "La—dy Tsu—n—ad—e."

"Shhh, hush now Shizune. You are the one I am least worried about." As if gifting the woman with a final farewell, Tsunade softly kissed the forehead of her dearest friend. "Now, how about a bottle of sake?" The previous heaviness in her voice had vanished replaced with wondrous strength of the most incredible woman to ever exist.

Unable to form words as wet tracks continued to burn and brand her face, Shizune reluctantly let go. Yet, little did she know, that as she blindly walked towards her master's precious wooden cabinet, Tsunade had been crying too.

* * *

**{5 days ago}**

A rolling crescendo of thunder clashed with the earth like waves against mountains of rocks. Flashes of light illuminated the gray weeping landscape. The outside storm had progressed hastily in the evening and had finally struck at midnight. Listening to the roar of the heavens and the splatter of its tears against the windowpane, Tsunade simply closed her eyes willing her tired mind to sleep.

Yet, It was no use; she had too many things to do. Going over what she needed to tell Shizune in the morning, a reflexive sigh escaped her lungs. Her body ached into a rhythm of sores. It burned to even move and a constant dull pain radiated in the back of her head. Timing was everything. She needed to manage her time wisely over the next few days. Worried about the state of the village at present and her village of the future, Tsunade's burdens felt like heavy clouds about to explode. She would need to begin her preparation. She had delayed long enough.

It was barely detectable, but it was not meant to fool her like an ambush on an enemy. A suture of white shattered the sky accompanying a monstrous scream. And the view of a once vacant window now held a dripping wet girl. Her chakra signature was calm and subdued, almost flat which surprised the woman lying on the cot. Tsunade did not so much a flinch at the sight of Sakura, but instead closed her narrowed eyes and continued to feign sleep.

It wasn't but 5 echoing drips from her soaked clothes when the true storm had finally hit home.

"I know you're not sleeping!" Sakura's tone was curt and drenched with venom.

Tsunade's stomach dropped as she reprimanded herself for underestimating her student's abilities. Then a brief smirk of admiration for her protégé's talents flashed across her face. _7 hours, _she thought. _Impressive. You will grow to surpass me younger than expected. _However, at her teacher's silence, Sakura's anger trumped that of the cloud's.

"When the hell were you going to tell me!?" The slam of a medical chakra book landed in the cascading light of the moon by the foot of her bed. "Or were you even going to tell me at all!?" Trying to control her breathing, Sakura's clenched fists were eager to smash anything into a million tiny pieces.

Tsunade took her time in answering the intruder. She inhaled deep and calming pondered whether she should be gentler in such a moment or give Sakura the harsh scolding of which she truly deserved. But this situation was different from anything they had ever faced. She decided to go with an in-between option.

"You shall respect my judgment and the decisions that I make as your Hokage and as your master. I will not hear of such disrespect." Her voice was mild and controlled as she sat up leaning against her headboard to meet the darkened gaze carved in the shadows.

"How dare you keep this from me! If I hadn't found that bleed on your spleen or the purple rash on your ankle, I would have believed that your lack of chakra control was from what you claimed your illness to be, a virus! You lied to me! You knew what you had all along. You—"

"That is enough! Do not make me lose my temper Sakura. I am only being patient because I know you are emotionally involved."

"Emotionally involved!? Do you know what is going to happen to you in the next few days?"

Tsunade's stern stare was unchanged, and she perfectly well knew what she was about to endure.

Acting in anger, Sakura continued, "Bleeding!" There was a slight hesitation. "…first, in the visceral membrane of your organs, and then the parietal. As your internal lining starts to dissolve, the serous fluid will mix with your toxic erythrocytes which are then spread to your alveoli through external respiration. Your type ll cells will then cease to produce pulmonary surfactant causing the ultimate collapse of your lungs! Furthermore, at the same time, bicarbonate ions will carry the infection to other body tissues through molecules of carbon dioxide by internal respiration! The more you breathe, the faster it spreads. This leads to the steady decomposition of flesh and eventually the degradation of your brain! You are going to decay! You are go—!"

"Yes Sakura, I am going to die."

It didn't feel real. This moment in time just did not feel like real life. Never before had she felt this degree of devastation that numbed the very core of her soul. She stopped breathing and desperately wished that when she ran out of air, she would quickly wake from her gray torturous nightmare. Unable to count the seconds as they each felt like separate centuries, Sakura stood unmoving. Unfortunately, as her body's reflex swiftly filled her lungs, the fragile image of her aged mentor still plagued her vision. It was not a dream.

Unblinking, no tears came to her eyes, not even the blistering burn familiar to her throat. It just didn't feel real. So much so, that her lack of belief was the only thing keeping her from collapsing to the ground.

"Did you—." Sakura breathed barely above a whisper, nearly drowned by the screams of nature. Tsunade cut her off.

"Yes, I knew when I did it. At the time, it seemed like the right decision, and I still believe it was. Naruto was trapped by Kaguya unable to get to Sasuke. I was low on chakra and so I preformed the seal. The pain I shall endure is a sacrifice I am honored to make for the safety and preservation of my village. I wouldn't have it any other way."

Waiting for a feeling, any emotion to rise to the surface, Sakura just stared. Not knowing what to do, she felt useless. Never in her life had she felt so small. There was nothing. There was no cure. Tsunade, her master, her beloved teacher, her special person, was going to die, slowly right before her eyes. And there was nothing she could do.

"What if we try to infuse new blood cells that have been charged with healing chakra and then inject a cloning serum into the blood stream with its specific start codon? Maybe the poisoned cells can be recycled through what's left of your spleen, and maybe your immune system will help break down the protein. May—"

"Agglutination will occur with the new blood cells. My body will produce new antibodies based on the infected cells and attack the antigens of the new cells even when it is the same blood type. My blood has become mutated by the foreign chakra surge."

"What if we inject Naruto's chakra? I mean, fight chakra with chakra!" She hurriedly stepped into the silver light as if desperation was pulling her closer. "Maybe if we transfuse a small dose, it will be just enough to combat the infected cells. Then, through stem cells and healing sessions, your immune system can be rejuvenated. What if—"

"Sakura!" The percussion of growling thunder resumed its dominance. Flinching from her harsh tone of voice, Sakura internally begged to hear words of comfort—to hear anything. She just wanted to hear it from Tsunade. She wanted her to say that everything would be alright.

Unknowingly holding her heart, the voice that escaped her chest was alien to her own ears, "Please….please….you have to be okay."

Tsunade's concrete countenance faltered at the pain of her loving student, but the realities of life were unforgiving and cruel. Her time as a teacher would soon come to an end. She would now begin her final lesson. _And what a wonderful finally it shall be_, she thought.

"Sakura…." Her tone was not sentimental, but strictly instructive. "The struggle in front of you will be great. I am sorry I will not be there to guide you through it." She paused, not really knowing how to say everything that she wanted to convey. Her heart was twisting in her chest, and pounding against her ribs. Forming her next words was probably one of the easiest and hardest things she had ever had to do.

* * *

** {Present}**

Pulling her attention back to the chilling window, she evenly replied, "I remember everything." Emotion no longer filled her lungs, only the internal feeling of decay was evidence of her pain. Moreover, evidence of her life.

Tsunade reluctantly forced her stare from her student and readdressed the other members of Team Kakashi.

"Regarding your reinstatement Sasuke, the council has finally warmed up to my restrictions in light of the—"She hesitated. "...hardships you have…faced." Her pacified gaze darkened. "That being said, you are still a traitor and potential threat to this village and I will not hesitate to eliminate any hazard no matter how valuable you would be to our ninja forces. You will continue to be, at all times, under the constant super vision of any member of Team 7. Observing Anbu shall report back to me any suspicions on your part. The seal placed on your chakra shall be lifted after the length of your probation, which shall be determined based on your behavior. I will further look into obliging the terms of which we have agreed on for establishing your peaceful return. Are there any questions?"

Naruto staggered forward, squinting his eyes like a blind man trying to see, "Granny Tsunade…how old are you really?"

A deep growl swelled from within her throat. "Still young enough to squash you into the ground you little brat!"

With a nervous chuckle, Naruto raised his arms to rest on the back of his head and slowly backed away. "hehehe, I mean—you don't look a day over 30."

Sai plastered on his fake smile as he eagerly cleared his voice, "Ahem, Dickless, I believe you mean 60. It is not kind or acceptable to lie to your elders. In fact, I read that lying—"

The pervious growl had escalated to a roar, "That is enough!" Turning her head to the silver haired man leisurely lounging against the frame of her doorway, she called to him, "Kakashi, I trust you shall return after your meeting with the council. I will need to speak with you on a number of topics."

In response he effortlessly propelled himself off of the gray metal and stood tall as he replied, "hai."

Content will her meeting and exhausted as a result, she was ready to fall willingly into a deep sleep. Her pain medication was wearing off and the sharp bubbling pains in her chest where relentlessly pouncing on the muscles of her ribs in a growing crescendo. She had tried her best to act the part of just having a virus. However, that had meant trying to hide her overwhelming pain and way too obvious difficulty breathing.

She had debated days before if she was going to reveal the truth to Naruto about her condition, but quickly decided against it. The only people that had such knowledge were the council, Sakura, Shizune, and Kakashi. She didn't really understand why she couldn't burden the obnoxious blonde with her illness, but she just couldn't bring herself to tell him. Maybe deep down, she didn't want to say goodbye. After all he, was the spitting image of her younger brother, possessed the determined soul of Dan, and the exuded the lively spirit of Jiraiya. She just didn't want to say goodbye—not to anyone.

Loudly exhaling, she concluded, "Sakura, Sai, Sasuke, and Naruto, I want you all to spend the rest of the day helping the citizens working in the reconstruction district. Take care of whatever they ask of you and break for dinner when the sun begins to set. That is all, you are dismissed.

" –But!" Sakura jerked her head from the window she had been lost in for the past 20 minutes. Protesting her forced absence she lamented, "But Lady Tsunade, I—"

"Sai...you will look after Sakura and see to it that she follows my orders and Naruto you shall watch after Sasuke."

Sakura's face began to redden as she tightly clenched her fists. Sharpening her gaze she again revolted, "But Lady—"

"That's an order Sakura!" Forcing too much air from her lungs in the result of her raised voice, Tsunade lurched into a choking fit.

Shifting forward to come to the aid of her master, Sakura was not going to go anywhere.

The agonizing contraction of her diaphragm was not enough of a distraction to see her approaching student. Stretching up, she bitterly flung her pointer finger towards the door and wheezed through her teeth, "Leave!"

Halting her steps, Sakura narrowed her severe gaze to match the one she looked at in return. Furious beyond belief, she was ready to punch the surrounding walls into pieces. Only the gentle sympathetic touch on her shoulder from her other beloved sensei, had convinced her to follow the checkered tiles into the hall and away from the scene before her.

Naruto happily cheered, "Come on Sakura, we can even get ramen later! Old Granny Tsunade will be perfectly fine. Just watch, she'll get better in no time."

Redirecting her deadly stare towards the ignorant blonde, an irritating itch manifested in the palms of her hands. She could kill him for being so happy. All she wanted to do was scream at the top of her lungs and punch him into the ground. He was wrong; she would not get better. In fact, Sakura could already tell that her condition was rapidly deteriorating at an alarming speed. But then the whip of reality struck her back. Steam radiating from her skin, she angrily turned and led the way out.

Reasoning that Naruto would undeniably also share the hurt that currently plagued her own soul, Sakura would never want to cause him pain. So, Tsunade's secret would stay a secret.

As the door closed only Kakashi stood before the Hokage.

Tsunade shuffled forward as she violently hacked up clots of congealed blood she had been suppressing in the presence of the others. Heaving up and down, she tightly closed her eyes willing the pain to dull. But the vibration in the bottom of her bronchioles could be felt with each torturous breath. Now, staring at her final symptom staining a white napkin, Tsunade turned to Kakashi who unfortunately had the same understanding.

Wiping the rusty liquid from her lips, Tsunade voiced, "I think we'll have to have our talk sooner than expected."

With a turn of his heel, Kakashi calmly made his way toward the chair by her side. He would now reluctantly begin his final preparation in becoming the sixth Hokage of the Hidden Leaf village.

* * *

**Next chapter****: **_Sasuke's POV _

_Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!_

_I'm so excited for this story because I believe it is super different and more realistic pertaining to the true behavior and actions of humans. Therefore, it might be a little ooc, but only because I don't believe someone can witness so much blood shed and still move on with their life as a happy, undisturbed person. I want to highlight the struggles of dealing with change, heavy thoughts, and dark emotions.-Even if a character was once so sure of themselves, values are tested after surviving a bloody ninja war. I hope the deep feelings translate through their actions and dialogue exchange. I don't want to have to spell it out, because then I would be a crappy writer. All I can say is try to imagine yourself in their shoes and the emotions that they are feeling._

Maybe mankind can help heal each other. As for pairings- Hahaha. If you visit my other stories then you should know. BUT..who knows...nothing is guaranteed. :}

P.S. Also, this story is mainly about Sakura and EMOTIONS. I will talk some about the village management and "Sasuke's agreement to come back peacefully" but it will be vague and not very imaginative...I hate POLITICS...I don't enjoy writing that boring stuff-pretty sure you don't like reading it. but idk.

ENJOY.


	2. Patience

Okay guys, I am back at college for a new term and I am having to take my second English course...so this means I will be crazy busy reading and writing other things. I am also applying to nursing school and am having to write the most important personal essay of my life! I literally don't even have time to breathe considering how many things I am TRYING to juggle. This semester for me is literally "make it or break it". And I am 100% scared shitless.

I am sorry to say that I won't be updating any time soon, BUT I WILL update when I go on Christmas holiday. FOR SURE. I have already planned out the next 2 chapters..I just have to write them.

Also, shout out to_ My Perfect Era _for being so kind and understanding. I promised to read her stories but I still haven't found the time.

Go check them out at u/2294128/

Hehe she has more fans then me. lol

Hope y'all understand. I apologize again.

I wish I had the time to do what I truly enjoy, but it's not in my hands.

Wish me luck with my application!


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